


Tale as Old as Time

by Ford_Ye_Fiji



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Attempting to do the fan art justice, Bonding, EVERYTHING IS PLATONIC sorry Wendip, Eventual Soos/Melody, Fiddleford McGucket needs a hug, Fluff, From here on out I will put codes and ciphers in the author's notes, Gen, Grunkle Ford Needs A Hug, Grunkle Stan Needs A Hug, Hurt/Comfort, I'm back who missed me, No Romance, No Slash, Sad Grunkle Stan, Sadness, Stangst, There will a hawktopus appearance, ahhhh, artsycrapfromsai's BatB AU, awkward cricket noises, eventual hurt/comfort, okay nevermind, pines family fluff eventually, so cute
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 20:06:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 18,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6298429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ford_Ye_Fiji/pseuds/Ford_Ye_Fiji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dipper and Mabel Pines sacrifice themselves by taking the place of the only parent they ever knew, Fiddleford McGucket, and resign themselves to living with a volatile beast forever, they didn't expect the magical book. </p><p>Or the talking axe. </p><p>BatB AU!</p><p>I'll think up a better title later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In which I borrow lines from an episode

**Author's Note:**

> So I just had to write something about this AU. It's adorable! :D Updates might be sporadic so fair warning. I apologize for how short the chapter is and for any mistakes, it's very late where I come from.
> 
> Enjoy!

"Ah, Gravity Falls... A peaceful town full of colorful people, relaxation, leisure, and taking 'er easy."

Someone screamed and birds flew cawing out of the forest.

"Usually."

Two nearly identical children ran panting out of the thick pine forest. They stumbled over their tired feet, the boy hoisting the stumbling girl up and pushing her ahead of him.

The boy skidded to a halt as the girl froze and teetered on the edge of a deep abyss. The boy hurriedly pulled her back from it and they gazed in horror at the steep cliff before turning to the woods.

Something large and black burst out of the trees, it paused and snarled at the fleeing children as the wind rustled through the branches.

The wolf began running again, it's mangy dark fur rippled across it's lean form, specks of silver flashing in the blood red light of the rapidly setting sun.

"Or, unless you're us."

The girl whipped around, her long dark hair whiplashing and brushing across the back of the boy. "It's getting closer!"

"My name is Dipper. The girl with the scarf in her hair is my sister Mabel. You may be wondering what we're doing in a dark forest, fleeing a freakishly huge wolf."

Mabel reached into the pocket of her apron and pulled out a lasso, she threw the lasso into the sky and it snagged the bottom of a tree's branches. "Look out!"

Dipper screamed as he was grabbed and Mabel jumped off the edge of the cliff, the pine tree that had been clinging precariously to the cliff side creaking ominously when the lasso stretched taut as they fell.

The wolf skidded to a stop, dirt and rocks falling down the steep edge before it gazed furiously at the children dangling just out of its reach. It snarled and then backed away leaving the children alone.

"Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation."


	2. The Library... Very briefly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing: Lil' Gideon! *singing* That's Lil' Gideon who's your friend, G-I-D- and the E-O-N!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, but when schoolwork calls, inspiration for this fic that must be written down RIGHT NOW shows up! 
> 
> Sorry this took so long!

Mabel rolled her eyes and scooted closer to her brother who was mumbling under his breath and studying a book in fascination.

She hissed out of the corner of her mouth, "Dipper."

Her brother scribbled something down, completely ignoring his sister. Mabel huffed and tugged on her brothers navy vest. He jumped and glared at her, "What?"

"Gideon Gleeful is in here."

"What?! Gideon wouldn't come into the library even if he was paid! In fact, I'm not even sure he knows how to read!"

Mabel nodded her head at the small white-haired boy who was searching the library for any sign of her. Dipper blinked and then panicked, grabbing Mabel by the thick collar of her white poofy shirt and pulling her after him.

He didn't get very far. Dipper was wiry, noodley, and not exactly strong so they both fell off the edge of the bench with a loud thump. It probably brought more attention on themselves than not.

Gideon spotted Mabel in her dark pink dress and he grinned before snapping his fingers and Ghost Eyes peeked in the door.

Mabel stood up quickly and brushed invisible specks of dust off her dress before hauling her brother to his feet. They were both extremely conspicuous with their trademark outfits.

Dipper was dressed in his typical navy vest, orange dress shirt, gray breeches, and hat. Mabel with her white shirt and stockings, dark pink dress and headscarf, and sash was extremely recognizable.

Dipper turned to Mabel grabbing the book he'd been studying off the table before taking her hand and running. By the time Gideon had turned back, they were both gone.

They collapsed outside the back entrance to the town's library giggling. When they had regained their breath, Mabel took her brother's hand and they skipped happily out into the square.

"Ha! We escaped Lil'Gideon!"

Dipper pulled out his book, "It's not exactly hard, Mabel, he's not very bright."

"But he is persistent."

"You can say that again."

Mabel hummed softly to herself until her brother yelped. Mabel turned and groaned. Ghost Eyes was holding a squirming Dipper up in the air like a kitten.

"Gideon, look what I found!"

Lil' Gideon bounded over from where he'd been searching the back of the library, "Ah, Dipper Pines how... nice to see you. I hope there are no hard feelings after the incident. It's all forgotten! Tee hee!"

Dipper glared at the white-haired boy. He hated that fake 'cute' laugh. He hated it so much, but he sighed, "Yup. I've completely forgotten."

Mabel put her hands on her hips, "Well I haven't! Ghost Eyes put my brother down!"

"Can't Mademoiselle, Gideon hasn't told me too."

"Put him down, fool! She's not gonna, I mean, er. My sweet, we uh, don't want to hurt Dipper, now do we?"

"But I thought-"

Gideon screeched, "Put him down!"

Ghost Eyes dropped Dipper roughly and the boy yelped as he landed in a puddle of mud. However, he was more concerned for- "My book!" Dipper picked up his book and began swiping at the mud sticking to it's covers in a panic.

Gideon edged closer to Mabel, "So have ya thought up on my offer, dear?"

"Ew! No! Just because you're _pretending_ to be nice to my brother doesn't mean that I'll suddenly be your 'queen!'"

Gideon turned red and stomped away. Ghost Eyes gave the two children looks of annoyance and went to go comfort Gideon.

Dipper stood up and took Mabel's hand, "Come on, Fiddleford is going to be worrying." Mabel took his hand and sighed.

The twins walked out of the small village and the town stared after the odd pair as they trotted up the hill to the small ramshackle cabin. 


	3. In which Racoon Wife leaves (&returns) and Mabel steps on Dipper's head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet Fiddleford! Briefly. Because I can't write him. *sobs*   
> Oh, yes, there is also, Mabel!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot right Fidds, I apologize for his OOC-ness right now. But, luckily, a beautiful author by the name of DoktorGirlfriend can write Fidds! They have written a Mystery Trio fic called 'Breaking and Entering.' It's amazing! Go read it! Go! :D

"Aw, high tootin' spindly shakin' donkey's a-"

"Fiddleford? We're hooooome!"

The figure in the iron mask yelped and banged his head against the low metal surface he'd been crouching under. The man flipped up the mask and squinted as the light flicked on, "Children? Is that you?"

Mabel sighed, "Fidds, you've been working with the light off again."

The man's southern twang rang out, "Aw, the flames I was usin' was light enough, darling. You kids back already?"

Dipper nodded and came forward, "I think I know how to fix the Gobblewonker project that you're working on."

"Ya do?" Dipper nodded vigorously and Fiddleford McGucket motioned him forward, "Well, com'ere and show me!"

Dipper scampered happily closer and began explaining loudly his theory. Mabel watched them and then proceeded to hand her twin the parts that he asked for.

* * *

 

"Bye Fidds! Buh-bye!"

"Bye! See you soon!"

Dipper and Mabel waved at their adoptive parent as he waved back and called loudly, "Goodbye, kids! Bye!"

Fiddleford disappeared over the hill and the clip-clop of the horse's, 'Raccoon Wife's, hooves faded away into the distance.

Mabel turned to her brother, her face strangely blank of all emotion, "Well... We're all alone now. You know what this means right?"

"What?"

Mabel screeched, jumping up excitedly and throwing flowers around from seemingly nowhere, "DANCE PARTIES FOR NO REASON!"

"Oh no."

* * *

 

Mabel finished dramatically throwing flowers around the countryside and singing about unicorns and rainbows.

"Okay, Dipper you're turn!"

The boy looked up from where he'd been reading his book. "Oh, no. No no no. I am not singing a song. No."

Mabel pouted and flopped down in the high grass. "But Diiiiiiper!"

Her twin did not respond and Mabel huffily turned over onto her back. The large fluffy clouds above her gave her an idea, "Look, how about we play I spy? See, there's little Gideon's hair."

Dipper snickered.

"There's a sheep and a pig..."

"Raccoon wife?"

"Yeah, Raccoon Wife... Wait, which cloud?"

"No, Mabel, look! Over there!"

She sat up and gasped. Raccoon Wife was standing at the end of the hill gasping and heaving, eyes the size of teacups. Mabel ran forward and grabbed the bridle, "Raccoon Wife?"

Dipper slid his book into the pocket of his vest and circled the horse warily. "Mabel... This is bad!" He pointed at the leg of the shuddering horse. A long shallow scratch wound around it's lower leg ending at the hoof.

Dipper breathed in horror, "Wolves."

"Well, come on, we have to go find Fiddleford!"

Dipper nodded and moved to the side of the horse, "Okay Mabel, just like we practiced!" The girl twin took a running start and bounded off her brother onto the back of the horse.

She'd been aiming for his hand formed like a step but she'd used his head instead. Dipper rubbed it grouchily, "Mabel, that hurt!"

"Oopsie. Sorry bro."

She tugged Dipper on top of Raccoon Wife and they both settled uncertainly. Dipper heaved in a deep breaths as he took the reins.

"Dipdop, have you ever ridden a horse before?"

"Er, no. How hard can it be?"

As it turns out, it can be pretty hard. But the twins managed and they were on their way to save Fiddleford from wolves and whatever else he'd encountered.

They couldn't have possibly imagined what lay in store for them.


	4. In which I introduce the castle... Shack... Castle...? Shack...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fidds finds himself in a very bad spot. 
> 
> Mabel and Dipper find that spot. 
> 
> Racoon Wife is done with this paranormal junk and hightails it of there, because nope- not doin it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I also borrow more lines from an episode and take a liberties with the Mystery Shack/castle because I haven't seen any fan art of it. 
> 
> But come on, guys. The Mystery Shack, but a castle!

Fiddleford whimpered and scrunched lower in his hiding spot. The great monster snarled as it searched for the small man.

All Fiddleford had wanted to do was find shelter from the wolves! He froze when he noticed that the statues in the room, and the paintings had all swiveled. They had moved!

But more importantly, they were looking at him. Fiddleford yelped when the great furry and clawed hand of the beast gripped him around the waist and pulled him out from behind the bookshelf.

Fiddleford kicked and scratched like a cat, the only way he could fight as he wasn't really strong in all other physical respects. Fiddleford hollared as he fought hoping for a reaction, any at all. The beast snarled rapped Fiddleford's head in annoyance 

The beast had perhaps hit the hillbilly to hard on the noggin, and this violent reaction to the poor inventor's caterwauling threw Fidds into unconsciousness. 

* * *

 

An old pine and redwood forest covered the hills outside of Gravity Falls. It's trees were ancient and mysterious, covering the sun with only little glades here and there revealing the comforting golden light.

The canopy swathed everything in darkness and pine needles, muffling the hooves of the grey horse. The lone horse skittered uneasily as it clopped slowly down the hills, every unexpected noise making it more and more nervous.

It was at this point that Mabel spotted Fiddleford's ratty hat laying limply on the ground and she jumped off the horse to get it. Dipper had always insisted Fidds had looked like a wizard in the hat but Mabel had thought he needed a beard first.

She'd never been more scared or more glad they'd found it in her life.

Mabel hugged the worn item to her chest. Dipper put his hand on her shoulder and Mabel turned to see him staring at tall iron gates. Her eyes widened, iron gates that were attached to a large _shimmering_ wall. The wall had ripped up hair attached to it.

Dipper shrugged as he examined the rainbow-colored hair curiously. Why was it there, tied around the iron bars?

But Mabel didn't care about the strange coarse hair, it was the large castle inside the wall that drew her attention. It looked strangely like a enormous dilapidated shack with extra portions branching off and sagging against the main house. The shack-castle was planted in the ground as if it had been holding itself up for a million years and was so very tired of standing.

Dead vines crawled up the walls and the main structure, winding around the nooks and crannies, twisting over the few balconies that they could see, and wound tightly on the snarling gargoyle's backs and mouths. In short, the vines climbed upwards ending who knows where.

A lone pine stood, not tall and proud, but old with dead needles on the ground leaving it bare. Dead branches littered the ground below it while others hung off, giving it a grasping menacing appearance.

In fact, every piece of grass, mushroom, flower- everything that was a plant- was dead. It fit with the picture the empty fountains and the ramshackle building presented. Old, dilapidated, and foreboding.

Dipper swallowed, "I- I think he went in there."

A howl made the twins jump and Mabel panicked, "No, Raccoon Wife, wait!"

But the mare was already running, galloping off towards the town in terror. She was gone. Dipper took Mabel's hand and as he touched the gates, they sprang open with a nerve-wracking creak.

The twins gazed uneasily at the strange almost ghost-like opening of the noisy black and barred gates.

Dipper turned to his sister, "Ready to head into the unknown?"

"Nope."

"Good. Neither am I."

They stepped in and the rusty doors closed with an ominous clang as the wolves howled from deep inside the woods. 


	5. In which the twins make a deal with the greatest conman ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins make a deal...
> 
> Fiddleford panics...
> 
> And we meet the beast...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for my endnote. Just... I'm so so sorry.

"Hello? Monsieur? Mademoiselle? Anybody?"

" _Old man... Angry... A chance, perhaps... Shh, doods... More people!_ "

Dipper and Mabel turned back to back as they heard whispering echoes from further in. "Dipper, maybe we should grab weapons or something."

"Good idea."

Dipper grabbed a screwdriver and turned to his sister, "Whoa! Mabel, careful!"

"Aw come on, Dipper! I have an axe! Wreet wreet!"

"Er, maybe you should give that to me, it looks dangerous-" "Uh, duh. It's a weapon, Dippingsauce. It's supposed to be dangerous."

Dipper rolled his eyes, "Come on. Let's go find Fidds. Hopefully, he'll be fine."

Mabel nodded seriously and then they trotted off, listening for the slightest indication of inhabitants or danger.

If Mabel and Dipper had been less attentive to the strange castle with the even stranger decorations, they might've noticed that the red axe opened eyes that rested on the blade and grinned at the screwdriver across from it.

The swamp green screwdriver blinked back.

Their eyes hurriedly closed when Dipper looked down curiously when he thought he felt something move. Dipper seeing nothing, shrugged, and resumed looking around.

"Hey, Dipper?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you hear that?"

Dipper paused, the few dim candles flickering in the hallway. And then, there it was. Someone was yelling. Though, it sounded more like yodeling.

They looked at each other and came to the same conclusion in unison, "Fiddleford."

The twins raced down a nearby stairway, their wooden shoes clattering on the steps as the racket grew louder.

The two skidded to a stop outside of a large barred door.

Mabel stepped cautiously forward, "Fidds?" The hoarse yelling ended abruptly, "Kids?" A long thin face with a large nose appeared behind the bars near the bottom of the door.

"What're ya'll doing here?"

"Rescuing you, duh. Raccoon Wife came home."

"Kids, ya gotta git out!"

"No, we can't! We came to get you!"

Dipper looked around, "Fiddleford, how _did_ you get stuck in there?"

"Kids! Git! It's not somethin' normal, it's not somethin' you can fight! Git out quick! Now! Please listen ta me for once!"

"But Fiddleford!"

"Dipper, tell Mabel you gotta go."

"Sorry, Fidds but Mabel's right."

No, kids! Ya gotta believe me! There's a monster! Git out while ya still can!" A snort emitted from the shadows and something looked over the trio, casting a inhumanly large shadow over them.

A gruff voice asked angrily, "Why are there two _kids_ in my house?"

Dipper and Mabel turned in terror.

The large something snarled, "Get out."

Mabel reacted finally, screaming loudly and charging with her axe poised to strike, " _Aaaaataaaaaaaack!_ "

The thing stepped into the light and grabbed Mabel's axe, plucking her into the air by her raised weapon.

The creature holding her, was not a man. It was a great monster covered in shaggy fur with a ratty burgundy cape around it's shoulders, the ends clasped together by a golden fish-like symbol.

The beast covered in grey fur barred it's spiked teeth at the girl. Mabel shrieked and released her grip on the axe in fright.

She fell to the ground and landed with a yelp. The monster started and looked in concern at her after the short fall.

Dipper charged with the small screwdriver, "Don't touch my sister!"

The monster whirled and picked Dipper up by his short vest with his other paw and hung Dipper off a snarling gargoyle's mouth where the boy kicked futilely. The gargoyle hung on a tall pillar, high off the ground.

Mabel charged and kicked the monster in the knee, "Don't hurt, Dipper!"

The beast sighed and picked Mabel up by her dress, seating her on another snarling gargoyle across from the boy.

Mabel shrieked and hung on.

The beast crossed it's large arms and glared at Fiddleford staring in horror at the brief skirmish. "Why are there two _children_ in my home?"

Mabel scrambled for purchase, "Wait, Monsieur, uh, Monsieur... Whatever your name is! Please don't hurt Fidds!"

"Fidds?"

"The guy. I'm sure he didn't mean to do... Whatever he did!"

"He nearly destroyed my br- book! And he was trespassing on my property. If he can pay, uh one hundred- no, a thousand gold coins, then he can go free."

"Uh, Monsieur, gee I gotta call you something. Ha! Monsieur Mystery we don't have all that money!"

"Then he can't go."

Dipper crossed his arms, "That isn't fair!"

"Well, life ain't fair kid."

Fiddleford grasped the bars tightly, deciding to call the beast by Mabel's impromptu name, "Please Monsieur Mystery let the kids go, they haven't done anything."

The beast growled, "Other than attacking me in my own home..."

There was a tense moment of silence.

"But fine. They can go."

Mabel wailed, "No, Fidds!"

"Wait, Monsieur Mystery! What if we trade places with Fidds?"

The beast wrinkled it's brows at Dipper, " _What?_ "

Fidds shook his head vigorously, "No! Don't do it!" Mabel's eyes widened in realization, "Oh!"

Dipper explained slowly, "We'll trade places with Fidds, so you let him go and we'll stay instead."

The monster mused it over for a second and then snarled and shrugged, "Okay."

Fiddleford stared aghast at the scene that had unfolded before him. Only when the beast slid the bar away and shoved open the door did Fidds react.

"No! Wait! They're just kids!"

The monster scooped the small struggling man and slung him over his shoulder before stomping away. Fiddleford kicked his legs futilely and stretched out his arms to the kids hanging across from him on the gargoyles.

"No! Please! I can't lose them! Please!"

The beast started up the stairs, deaf to the pleading of the twin's nearly-father.

"Dipper! Mabel! Save yourselves!"

The door at the top of the stairway clanged shut and the hollering of their guardian became unintelligible and muffled.

Mabel swallowed and tightened her grip on the gargoyle, "I don't suppose you can get down, can you?"

Dipper shook his head solemnly, "No. We're stuck until it comes back."

Mabel gazed at the stairway apprehensively, "You do have to admit though... There's a bright side here somewhere."

Dipper glared.

Mabel would've scratched her head, but she holding onto the stiff cold back of the gargoyle, "Er... Monsieur Mystery sure looks pretty cool, doesn't he?"

Dipper nodded, "I suppose... But he's volatile and dangerous."

"And cool looking. Don't forget that."

"Yes, Mabel."

"Yeah, doods. You got that right."

"Soos! Shut up!"

The twins shrieked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sorry! Ha! I bet y'all thought the greatest conman ever was Bill! XD


	6. In which the Axe talks and 'ThatDarkLakeSiren's' prediction reveals itself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wendy and Soos say their piece,
> 
> Monsieur Mystery's true name is revealed, 
> 
> And a forbidden place is, well, forbidden.

The screwdriver and axe clattered on the floor from where they had been thrown. The screwdriver sat up, "Ow. I thought you guys were cool, but... Not cool doods."

The axe was already up looking at the twins in the air.

Mabel pointed at the moving items, "They're moving, Dipper! They're moving!"

The axe shrugged, or tried to,"Well, duh of course we're moving."

The screwdriver hopped up, "You're in the enchanted shastle! Casck!"

The red axe glared at the screwdriver, "You really need to think up a new name for that."

The screwdriver wilted, "I know."

Mabel scratched her head, "Shastle? Casck?"

The screwdriver nodded in agreement, "Is it a castle? Is it a shack? These are legitimate questions. I'm Soos by the way."

"And I'm Wendy! What's brings you to our mysterious shack castle thing?"

Mabel snapped her fingers, "That's it! The Mystery Shack-Castle! It could be your slogan! Is it a shack? Is it a castle? Come and see!"

The screwdriver grinned widely, "You're brilliant!"

Dipper spoke up, "Uh, guys, we really shouldn't be worrying about the name of the mystery shack-castle. We're in a dungeon being held captive by a giant supernatural beast!"

"You do have a point broseph."

"Look, Wendy... Soos... Whatever you are... Can you help us escape?"

The axe shuffled and the screwdriver puffed out what could've been it's chest, "Sorry, doods, but whatever Monsieur Pines orders us to do, we obey! And we can't let you go."

Mabel punched the air, "Ha! Finally! A name for Monsieur Mystery!" She nearly fell and yelped as she quickly returned both hands to clutching the gargoyle's head.

Dipper studied the tools carefully, "Did he tell you _specifically_ not to let us down?"

"No..."

Mabel nodded enthusiastically at them, "Yeah, so it's all right to let us down then, right?"

The swamp green screwdriver nodded slowly, "I guess... Wait. No! I don't think that's what he'd want. Something about the spirit of the law and all that."

"Aw, come on Soos. I think these kids are pretty cool." She nodded her blade at Dipper, "You got some moxie, kid."

"Er, thanks? You're- you're pretty sharp yourself."

Mabel chortled and Dipper ignored her.

"Come on, please, guys? Don't leave us hanging."

It was then, however, that the beast returned. Soos stood before him as Wendy scuttled away quickly, disappearing into the shadows.

"The prisoners are still here, just as you may or may not have ordered Monsieur Pines!"

The beast grunted and plucked the twins off of the gargoyles before it began ascending the stairs.

Mabel looked around before asking, "Monsieur Pines? W- where are you taking us? Are you going to eat us?"

"What? No! Ew. Er, I mean why would I eat you? You're too... stringy and tough... there's not enough... Meat on you to uh... Fill uh... Waddles stomach, let alone Gompers."

"Who are they?"

"You'll find out!" The beast began laughing manically as Dipper and Mabel shuddered. The beast coughed, "Sorry, I was thinking about something funny that happened earlier."

The rest of the ride continued in silence, or it did until Mabel asked tentatively, "What's that staircase over there?"

"Nothing you should concern yourself with."

Dipper peeked over the shaggy arms of the monster, "Really? What's down there?"

"It's the West Basement and _there's nothing over there_."

Mabel craned her head too, the beast's firm denial of anything making the room more and more intriguing.

The beast growled softly as it noticed the twin's gaze was directed at the aforementioned West Basement. The monster walked faster, old legs creaking as it's pace quickened.

The West Basement vanished as they rounded a corner and the creature deposited Mabel and Dipper in front of a large door.

"There. This is your room."

Mabel paused, "Wait, what?"

Dipper turned around, "I thought the dungeon was our room."

The beast crossed it's large arms and barred it's teeth, "Well, if you prefer the dungeon then I can take you back there-"

"No! We're good! Right Mabel?"

Mabel nodded.

"Good." The beast opened the door and it roughly shoved the twins in before slamming the door abruptly.

Mabel sighed as she looked around the room, "Well. At least there isn't any rats."

Dipper looked around the large room warily.

Two beds, one in pink sheets and one in blue with a picture of a double masted man o' war were the only sparse decorations in the room. The source of light came from the triangular window between the twin beds.

Mabel sat down on one of the beds, "Could use some more flowers though."

Dipper snorted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you haven't noticed yet, Mabel's spontaneous, completely unexplainable, and never ending supply of flowers is basically her version of glitter. Cause I don't think they'd have glitter back then... but it's not really right for Soos to say 'doods' all the time but whatever.
> 
> And yes, I'm proud. *sniff* Nobody thought the greatest con man was Bill. *hugs reviewers*


	7. Everything appears to be going well, until it all rapidly deteriorates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I introduce some more characters.
> 
> Mabel and Dipper go exploring.
> 
> The twins then get in too deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I felt kinda bad for not posting a chapter in two weeks, so I decided to post another one! And it's nice and long too! :D

Dipper had thought when Mabel's wardrobe opened by itself and loudly announced that its- er, her name was 'Grenda' and that she would help Mabel with fashion, that would be the weirdest thing he'd seen.

It wasn't.

When the meat fork and the knife came in with a tea tray, Dipper felt he had enough. When Mabel announced that she was now best friends with Grenda, and the knife- Candy, and that they were her 'people,' Dipper was done.

Then, when the axe and the screwdriver joined the impromptu 'party' and said that Monsieur Pines had invited them to dinner, Dipper slammed his book closed.

"Am I the only sane one around here?"

The sentient furniture, cutlery, weapons, and tools looked up in surprise at his outburst. Dipper huffed at their surprised faces.

"Seriously? Mabel you're talking to a wardrobe and a _knife_!"

Candy the knife piped up shrilly, "I will cut you!"

"A screwdriver has just declared that he fixes stuff around the place, an axe, named Wendy, says that yes, she does have three brothers. And,

 _We're being held captive by a monstrous beast!_ "

Mabel frowned and shrugged, "So?"

Dipper fell backwards on the bed, his hat flopping off onto the pillows. Mabel noticed the peopl- er, tools staring at her.

"What? It's not like this is the weirdest thing we've ever seen."

"But what's causing it, Mabel?!"

Wendy asked curiously, "Wait, kid... You don't think we're weird?"

Dipper shook his head against the bed, "What? No! Our guardian has a horse named 'Racoon Wife' and he makes inventions that destroy whole villages. On accident."

Soos faced the preteen, unfortunately only able to see the boys stockinged feet hanging off the bed, "Then what's bugging you, dood?"

" _Why_ are you all like this?!"

Melody, the meat fork, sighed, "Sorry guys. There's only one thing that can tell you what happened... And you won't be able to see him."

Dipper sat up and moved to the edge of the bed peering down on his sister surrounded by household items, "What about you guys? Can you guys tell me why?"

Melody shook her... Handle? Yeah that was probably a handle, "No. For some reason we've all... Forgotten."

Soos nodded in agreement, "Yup, everything past thirty years ago is 'boom' gone!"

Candy mused, "I wonder why we don't remember any-" Soos interrupted with a loud, "Boring! Anyway, Monsieur Pines has ordered you to come to dinner."

Dipper asked cautiously, "What's for dinner?"

"Brown meat."

Mabel wrinkled her nose, "Ew. Can we skip dinner?"

Wendy shook her head vigorously, "Nope, sorry guys."

"Monsieur Pines would be mad."

They all nodded.

Dipper tapped his chin thoughtfully, "Uh, well, tell him we'll be down later." Mabel wrinkled her brows at her brother and he slightly shook his head.

Mabel began loudly, "Yeah... We'll be down later, after our nap! I'm beat guys!"

The walking and talking tools all hastily bid goodbye and scuttled out of the room. Dipper breathed a sigh of relief.

Mabel turned to her brother, "Dipdop, what are you planning?"

Dipper slipped his feet back into his shoes, "I'm thinking that much later when everyone's asleep, that we'll go and find out whatever's making this place all weird."

Mabel nodded, "Sounds like a plan broseph."

* * *

 

Monsieur Pines prowled around the shack-castle, carefully examining each grotesque taxidermy statue and every strange sad clown painting.

The beast grunted before heading off in the opposite direction of the West Basement. The creature would have continued stomping but a small scuttle and breathless whispers caused it to pause.

The beast shrugged and changed course, deciding to check on the West Basement instead. The monster slowly lumbered down the steps surprisingly quiet for a creature of it's size.

Meanwhile the source of the scuttling noises and whispering were two children.

Dipper and Mabel snuck down the old mossy steps. Mabel whispered something and Dipper shushed her. They'd just barely missed the beast. Luckily it had been heading somewhere east in the Mystery Shack-Castle, as Mabel called it.

Dipper held the candle up higher and Mabel peered over his shoulder.

The only thing in this room was a raised triangular dais and a single picture directly across from it on the opposite wall. It was a single oiled painting with long rips and tears in the material, leaving the picture nearly indiscernible. It looked like two young boys had once been on the canvas. Now, however, one of the boy's faces was shredded entirely while the other had one long scratch through it, right across the monocle. Mabel threw an 'I don't know' look at her brother. He returned it before he pointed at the dais questioningly. She nodded in agreement. 

The twins walked slowly forward.

A burgundy book surrounded by an eerie golden glow sat on top of the dais in the middle of the upside down triangle. Mabel shrugged at Dipper's confused expression.

The preteen shrugged back before tentatively opening the book. The pages flopped open producing a large golden light. Mabel gasped as small sparkles floated around her head.

Dipper gasped also, but not for the same reason. The book had started writing. In elegant black script were the words, " _Greetings._ "

Dipper pointed and Mabel's eyes grew wide. A second passed before underneath 'Greetings' more words appeared, as if someone invisible was writing them.

" _Do people still say greetings?_ "

Dipper wished he had a quill and ink. Hurriedly, he tapped the book and to his delight a dot appeared. Dipper proceeded to write with his finger, "My name is Dipper and my sister is Mabel."

Mabel interjected with a cursive, "Hi!"

Dipper frowned and continued writing, "What is wrong with this place? Why is the Shack Castle filled with talking tools?"

The words erased themselves before more script appeared, " _Dipper, Mabel, whoever you are, let me tell you a story._ "

Mabel wrote, "Sure Monsieur Book!" She frowned quickly and crossed out 'book' before writing 'Journal.' That sounded much better.

Faded pictures bleached by sun blurred and came into focus, they began to form revealing the shack castle.

" _In a castle far away, the story takes place, two princes, both brothers of the same face."_

Two vague identical men appeared, murky shapes dancing across the page.

" _With bonds so tight they held to their hearts, till one failed to fulfill his brotherly part._ _A fight arose, brother against brother, both forgetting the love they had for each other._ "

The brother shapes were shouting at each other. The second brother slammed his hand down and something shadowy fell. The first pushed the second one away and the falling body melted into shadow. Darkness filled the pages.

" _One day an old women came who the brothers looked past, though pity and kindness were all that she asked._ _A small book that she held was all she could offer, but caught in their troubles, the brothers both scoffed her._ "

A hooded figure crouched, one white lined eye filling the gaping maw that was supposed to be the hood. The figure held out its hand pleadingly but both brother shapes turned away.

" _Enraged at the deal the princes didn't make, their happiness instead he decided to take._ "

The figure threw off the cloak, revealing something large and black and triangular with one burning red eye. It ensnared the brothers, one melting into a book and the second writhing in torment as it transformed into a large and strangely familiar creature.

" _The two brothers have now met an unfortunate fate, with a curse that should break before it is too late._

 _But how can the princes find love that is real, when love was the one thing that they couldn't feel?_ "

The creature bathed in shadow was sitting over the book, it's great paws hovering over it, almost as if it was too afraid to touch it.

The journal's pages flipped to the end with a thump, it's tale having been told. Only in memories would those pictures still play across it's pages.

Dipper turned to Mabel in awe, but she had froze, her eyes wide as she took in something on the ground before them.

Dipper looked.

The creature from the book was throwing the same shadow over them.

The beast.

The twin's turned slowly as the beast glared at them with anger. It's flaming eyes were the only features of notice in the blackness.

Dipper threw one arm across his sister, instinctively pushing her behind him and out of harms way.

It snarled, baring it's huge white fangs as it growled in a deadly quiet voice, "Get out and leave. Now."

Dipper took Mabel's hand and began scrambling away as the beast roared after them, " _And never come back!_ "

Something crashed loudly, as the twins scurried up the steps nearly falling over each other in their haste to get away. They wanted no part in this. Sure the supernatural was interesting, but not like this.

Never like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the story-poem was based off of fan art. I can't remember who drew it though... Also, someone recorded themselves narrating it. Go check it out! http://kieran-acts.tumblr.com/tagged/BatB-AU


	8. In which I apologize and the backstory is explained in more detail- also, FEELS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I apologize for being late and reveal that I'm not actually dead
> 
> And a highly detailed backstory complete with jerkwad Bill!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last scene is (you guessed it!) inspired by more fan art!

The beast's glare melts into something akin to sadness or despair as it crouches low. The grey haired creature gently closes the battered book, with a stick leaning against the upside down triangle dais.

He doesn't dare touch it.

A long scar across the top of the book is evidence of the last time he'd gotten too close. It had been because of a nightmare.

If only this entire situation was just one big dream. Maybe he'd wake up thirty years ago. Maybe he'd wake up and he'd be seventeen again. Maybe it'll be before he ruined everything. Maybe, maybe, maybe...

He wished this was all a dream, but it wasn't. At least those two kids were gone. Now they wouldn't get mixed up in this mess.

* * *

 

"Look Stanford, I said I'm sorry, what more do you want?"

Ford angrily adjusted his eyeglass as Stanley followed him around the castle like a lost puppy. "Stan..."

He regretted calling Stan back. It had been their birthday, and he'd been well... Inebriated. When he'd woken up the next day, rather ashamed he'd gotten that knackered, he couldn't recall what had happened the night before.

Then Stanley showed up hopefully, his eyes bright and welcoming in his ragtag clothes. Ford did not question what Stan had been doing the last ten years. He didn't really want to know.

"Ford? I promise I won't break anything this time. I swear."

Ford huffed, "Fine. Okay. You can stay for a little while."

"Yes! High six!"

Ford glared and felt bad when Stan wilted, "Er, sorry Sixer."

Unfortunately, within a few days of taking Stan out for a trip, they'd ran back after angering the prideful unicorns and then the huge wolves.

Ford leaned back against the gates huffing and puffing. Stan laughed gleefully at the wolves snarling angrily back at them through the bars.

"Ha! Suckers! That shows what happens to you when you mess with the Pines twins!"

Stan mimed a few punches before trotting over to Ford who was still breathing heavily. "Yeesh, Poindexter, do you ever exercise?"

Ford glared as Stan helped him straighten up.

The wolves left, several of them limping. Stan had indeed inflicted damage. Stan turned to head back when Ford suddenly sucked in his breath. A long scratch marred about half of his brother's back, it stretched from the shoulder and winding down across his side.

"Stan?"

"Yeah, Ford?"

Stan's face was flushed as he grinned easily at his twin. The adrenaline was probably still pumping through his veins.

"I'm gonna need you to lay down when we get inside."

"What? Why?"

The flush was slowly leaving his brother's face. Ford quickly walked closer to his brother, "Come on Stan, let's get inside."

"Ford, you're... You're not making any sense."

About halfway down the long corridor, Stan's face was unusually pale and sweaty as he leaned more and more on his brother.

When Ford finally eased his brother down face first onto a bed, Stan was shivering slightly.

Ford worriedly left to get something to clean it and Stan watched him go with glazed eyes.

Hopefully it wasn't the sign of a fever coming on.

But it was.

**A few days later**

"Ow! Holy Moses, Ford!"

Ford frowned as Stan flinched away from him yet again, "Well, I'm sorry. But if you held still, it wouldn't hurt so much!"

Stan grumped, but this time held stock still as Ford finished cleaning the long scratch. Stan had only just come out of the dangerous fever he had fallen into a few days before.

Ford gently wrapped the scratch and Stan gingerly stood up, "Thanks, Poindexter."

Ford smiled slightly, "You too, knucklehead."

Ford left to go clean the rag and after waiting for what seemed an age, Stan finally stood up and began to wander through the corridors aimlessly. Somehow, someway, Ford seemed to be forgiving him. His relationship with his brother was finally repairing! After ten long years!

He just had to be extra careful.

Stan had caused the ten year separation by accidentally breaking one of Ford's projects because he'd gotten mad.

Ergo, no getting mad. Easier said than done.

Where was the nerd, anyway?

Stan wandered into one of Ford's frequented nerd rooms. "Ford?"

No response.

"Foooooord?"

Stan peeked around a corner. His twin was nowhere in sight. Stan sighed and swung back around to leave when his side cramped up, his injury twingeing painfully.

Stan stumbled and steadied himself on a table holding one of Ford's nerd experiments. The table rocked precariously and the item on top of it fell to the ground and shattered.

Stan blinked in horror at the remains. What? What had just-

And then, Stanford walked into the room.

After the inevitable and maybe reasonable explosion from Ford, Stan tried to salvage something. He couldn't let another accident ruin his life. Not like this.

"Stanford! I swear this was an accident! I didn't even get mad-"

"Stanley this is just how it happened last time! No! I let you come back and you broke something again! Luckily, it wasn't valuable, but this just proves that you're still trying to ruin my life!"

As was his natural reaction, Stan's remorse boiled away into anger, "Look, this is _nothing_ like last time, will you just believe me for once?!"

Ford turned furiously, "You broke my trust twice! No _way_ will I ever let you back into my life!"

"Ford! I didn't- will you-"

"Stan, this is serious! Get out!"

Ford pointed toward the large doors of his home. Stan opened his mouth and closed it before responding, "Don't you understand what I mean by accident?! Look- my side-"

"Oh, that's rich! How am I supposed to believe anything you say? You always lie to me, Stanley!"

"What? Now you're saying my personality is a liar? Come on-"

Ford waved his arms wildly, "Yes! You always lie!"

"Well, you always assume everything! You don't really know if you're actually right about anything, you just guess! You assume I break everything on purpose, you assume that you're the smartest most important person alive-"

"Why you-"

"Huh? What? Surprised I'm not lying for once?"

Ford glared, "No, I just realized that Dad was right about you."

A stony silence fell as Ford continued, wanting to hurt his twin like he'd been hurt, "Dad was right. I don't know how I ever put up with you. Who could?"

Someone knocked on the door.

Stan and Ford ignored the banging, locked in a staring contest.

The pounding continued before Stan groaned and stomped to the door with Ford trailing behind him.

Stan threw open the doors with a loud, " _What?!_ "

The oddly-shaped robed figure in front of them seemed unfazed, as it- she spoke, "Hello, I was wondering if I might be able to shelter here for the night, I have a book to offer in return."

The (elderly?) woman held out a small worn book.

Stan crossed his arms and snarled, face still red from the heated discussion he'd been having, "Look lady. Not right now, okay?"

Stan turned to go inside and the woman turned to Ford who shook his head, "Sorry, but no. We're busy."

Ford moved to close the doors, when the hunched woman threw off her outer robes to reveal a great yellow and triangular demon.

"Ah! Let's revise that shall we?"

Stan jumped and yelped, "Holy Moses!"

The triangle waved his cane joyfully, "My names Bill and I'm here to-" the triangle grew large and red, towering over the shack-castle, " _wreck your lives!_ "

Stan shoved Ford behind him automatically and adopted a fighting stance. Bill laughed, "You're just adorABLE!"

Bill snapped his fingers and Ford pointed in bewilderment. The demon was still holding the book which had opened at the snap.

Ford started moving, as if something was pulling him into the air.

"Ford? Ford, what's happening?"

Ford was slowly turning into golden light and dissolving into the pages of the book as he was sucked closer, "I don't know- Stanley do something! Please! Stanley-!"

The book slammed shut and Bill cackled, "Well that's over with. Your turn!"

Stan rushed at the large triangle but Bill sighed and pointed his finger like a gun. A large red beam hit Stan who stopped suddenly.

Nothing happened.

Stan laughed, "Ha! Shows what you-" and then fur sprouted across his back. Bones cracked, broke, and reformed into new ones. Stan grew and howled, his face lengthening into a snout.

The ragged burgundy jacket he'd been wearing melted and morphed into an equally ragged cape, held together by a golden clasp shaped like a fish.

Stanley, however couldn't not care less at this moment if his clothes transformed into a cape or a dress.

Stan whimpered weakly as the transformation finished.

Bill shrunk down to normal and dropped the book on the ground disdainfully, "You'll all be returned to normal if you can get the curse to break, but I highly doubt that because you'd have to get someone to love you! Ha! Oh, hey, forgot to mention- if you don't break the curse in say, thirty-one years, your brother will turn into an inanimate book and you'll stay a beast forever! Good luck!"

Bill sauntered away, twirling his cane as he went.

"Oh, wait! One last touch!"

He laughed at his pun as he touched the ground with his cane. Black light traveled over the ground turning everything it touched dead and old.

The shack-castle turned dark, it's regal appearance sagging down and parts creaking in protest.

The triangle disappeared with a pop, leaving a beast, a book, and a curse alone for a long long time.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The beast sat down with a thump, "Its hopeless. I'm sorry, Sixer... You were right all those years ago..." The beast's hands hovered over the book, longing for comfort, but the ragged scratch marring the book's, his brother's, surface made for a stark reminder.

"I-I mean...who could ever..."

The beast clutched it's hands together.

"Love something like me?"

Outside the old Mystery Shack-Castle, the wolves howled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I was gone for so long! 
> 
> Anyway, I don't know what Bill's motives are or why he's here in person. I originally planned to have the last chapter be his entire appearance, but now he's back... *groans* why does nothing go according to plan?! 
> 
> Anyway, I've actually written a few chapters ahead of this (i.e. In the BatB universe I've reached the equivalent of the wolves and the return to the castle) and I'm stuck. So guys, I'm coming to you. 
> 
> Can you leave in the comments below an idea that helps Stan a) earn the kids trust b) bond with them and c) lots of fluff? Emphasis on the 'earning trust part.'


	9. In which there is mostly talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill talks.
> 
> Dipper and Mabel make the right decision. 
> 
> And I'm sorry I didn't update sooner.

Mabel hauled herself up the rope, Dipper struggling right below her.

That's how they had found themselves fleeing from the wolf. Of course, whether they would still survive the dangerous trek through the woods was an entirely different matter.

That was the worst of their problems, but coming in for a close second was the fact that while being chased by the wolf, they had gotten completely turned around.

Mabel jumped down from the tree and Dipper nervously followed. He fell flat on his face, of course, and Mabel tucked her lasso back in her apron pocket.

"So, Dipdop, which way are we heading?"

Dipper shrugged as he got up and dusted himself off, "Mabel, the sun set awhile ago and neither the stars nor the moon are out yet. I... I have no idea."

The darkness around them was making it rather hard to see. "Do you at least have a lantern, Dipper?"

"Well, yeah, the emergency one."

"Let's light it so we can at least _see_ where we're going."

"We're not going anywhere until we _know_ where we're going."

Mabel huffed and Dipper sighed as he lit the lamp. The small flame flickered into existence, revealing the forest.

Dipper turned, "Wait, I thought we were out in a field?"

Mabel frowned, "Yeah, something does seem weird out of all this..."

"Mabel?"

"Yeah, broseph?"

"Why is the flame grey?"

The twins stared at each other in puzzlement until something began to laugh before saying loudly, "Ah! Gravity Falls! It's good to be back!"

Mabel pointed, "Look Dipper! It's the triangle dude from Monsieur Journal!"

It was the triangle dude. Large and yellow, with a garish top hat, bow tie, and cane was in fact, the triangle person.

Dipper pointed angrily, "Who are you?"

Mabel put her hands on her hips, "Yeah! Other than a jerk!"

The triangle waved his hands placatingly, "Please, please, the names Bill! Bill Cipher! And I'm here to help you kids!"

"Help us?"

"Yeah, you kids are all alone in a spooky forest with giant wolves! Come on, who wouldn't want help?"

Dipper crossed his arms, "Look, Monsieur 'Bill Cipher' we don't need help. Besides, what're you gonna do if we say no? Turn us into books like you did that beast?"

Bill laughed, "Aw, come on, Pine Tree!"

Dipper's brow furrowed, "Pine tree? That's not my name."

Bill sighed, "Mortals. Please. I don't care about your name. Listen, Pine Tree. I can help-"

Mabel stepped forward, "Look, no! Okay? We're not making any 'deals' or whatever."

"Calm down, Shooting Star."

Dipper huffed, "No! Go away!"

"Yeah, we don't even know you! Why are you so interested anyway?"

Bill paused and then blinked his one eye, "Look, kids. That beast you escaped from? He's dangerous. I cursed him for a reason. His brother... his brother is- was a genius. Collateral damage. Fastest way to get him out of the way. But, I decided it wasn't fair to punish him for his twin's crimes. So, I just need you to give the book to me. How's that? In return I'll give Pine Tree and you a ride home! The fast way."

Dipper and Mabel looked at each and then back at the triangle before saying in unison, "No."

"That's your final answer?"

The twins nodded.

Bill sighed in mock regret, "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Bill snapped his fingers and the twin's eyes blinked open. The moon was out while one or two stars shone cheerfully down out of the blackness.

However, what the light revealed was not so cheerful.

The moon's soft silvery light illuminated the great shaggy wolf from before. Except this time, it had brought some friends.

Mabel screamed and less than half a mile away, a great grey beast heard it and ran. 


	10. In which the chapter is short, but stuff happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter ended with a scream. 
> 
> This one ends with a battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry that this is short, but I wanted to give you guys another chapter early because I took so long to update it!
> 
> Updates should even out to every Thursday.

The brunette twins tore through the forest, gasping and heaving, they pushed away branches and jumped over logs. Sometimes the branches slapped them in the face, leaving a thin red line next to their wild eyes and sweaty hair that stuck to their necks.

The girl tripped, her feet slipping and sliding over dirt and pine needles when she stepped on a branch that set her sprawling. The boy leaned down and heaved her up from where she had fallen with her hair spread about her like a messy curtain. The girl scrambled to her feet, not paying attention to the twigs and leaves now decorating her long brown hair.

One of the many snarling wolves chasing the preteens growled and lunged, snagging the girls trailing sash tied around her waist. The girl flopped onto the floor again, as the wolf yanked.

Dipper skidded to a stop and stumbled over to his sister with a large stick he'd scooped up from the forest floor. He swung and connected with the wolf's wet muzzle making it whimper. It hastily pulled backwards into the ranks of wolves now circling them.

A wolf growled and jumped closer. Dipper tried valiantly to block the attack and succeeded, but lost their only weapon when the wolf snapped it in half within it's powerful heaving jaws.

The boy, Dipper, hugged his sister Mabel who clutched him back.

Dipper closed his eyes and bent over his twin as another wolf lunged with its jaws open, revealing a lolling pink tongue and shiny wet teeth.

The wolf howled in terror and pain as it slammed into something with a loud, "THWACK!"

Dipper opened one eye and then the other. Mabel gasped.

The beast from the castle stood over them as the wolf gaped at the large and equally terrifying creature.

However, as soon as it recovered from the head on collision with the beast's arm, it's face morphed back into that of an anger driven wild animal. It lunged as the other hungry wolves dove in.

Dipper and Mabel watched, slack-jawed with awe as the beast punched the wolves left and right. The creatures clambered over it's- his back and scratched and bit.

The beast howled and threw them off.

Mabel shook herself before grabbing a rock from the ground and throwing it at a wolf who had jumped and bit down into the beast's arm. The wolf was startled by the hard object and whined as it received another blow, this time from the Beast.

Finally every wolf fled, whimpering with their bushy tails between their legs.

The beast turned to face the frightened children on unsteady paws.

Their eyes locked and the beast fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yrzq ngk zq, ade kaqfeyxs owwo bw kmbpbeo xo ab Glgwgmdi!
> 
>  
> 
> Please decipher this one first:  
> 20-8-5 11-5-25 6-15-18 20-8-5 1-2-15-22-5 3-15-4-5 9-19 8-9-4-4-5-14 9-14 20-8-5 20-9-20-12-5.
> 
>  
> 
> Good luck! (Sorry, I just love codes.)


	11. In which there is actually fluff!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is okay. 
> 
> And hot chocolate is good and reassuring.

  
The twins didn't know how they managed it, but eventually they dragged the half conscious beast back to the Mystery Shack-Castle.

Then the beast fully woke up.

He grumped and sighed and even growled softly, but allowed Mabel to soothe his long bloody scratches with a wet cloth. Dipper hung protectively by his twin as he tried to decipher the beast's- Monsieur Pines's expression.

"Thank you for saving us, Monsieur Pines."

The beast grunted, though as Dipper cocked his head and looked closer.... He thought he could almost spot... was that a smile?

But, no, whatever had been there was gone.

"Eh. It was no problem kiddo."

Dipper handed his twin white wrappings before tentatively asking, "Why did you save us, Monsieur Pines? I mean, we had just... Well, kind of, invaded your privacy."

Mabel nodded.

The monster- Er, Monsieur Pines shrugged and looked away, "Eh. You're kids. You're like, what? Ten?"

"Twelve!"

"Whatever, twelve or ten, kids make mistakes and, they shouldn't have their whole future uh, messed up because of one mistake."

The kids looked at him with wide eyes.

The beast looked away from the twins that so resembled his brother when he was twelve. It was rather strange that they looked so much like him...

"There's uh, there's hot chocolate in the kitchen if you, uh want some before you go to bed. Uh, maybe..."

"Hot chocolate? Gee thanks, Monsieur Pines!"

Mabel dashed off like a shot, her feet pattering down the long hallway. Dipper stood up before asking, "Um, which way is the kitchen?"

"Down the hall and to the left."

"Thanks, I'll go let let Mabel know where it is."

He followed his twin at a more leisurely pace, his hands tucked into his pockets as he looked around at the room curiously. There was some more noise and a door slam.

Stan assumed they were enjoying their beverages in the peaceful kitchen, but that theory was destroyed when they trotted back into the living room and sat contentedly next to Stan in front of the roaring fire.

The awkward silence was only broken by Mabel's loud slurping.

Eventually the little girl set her cup down and then stood up before approaching him. Stanley watched her approach curiously.

Mabel smiled at him and then clambered onto his lap.

"Uh, what're you doing?"

"Cuddling. It's the best medicine."

She nestled herself under his cape and sat there contentedly, her legs half swinging as she leaned into him. She sighed, "You know, you're not so scary."

Stan swallowed nervously, but then ever so gently relaxed. The tension draining out of his shoulders as the fire crackled, the weight of little girl's trust was as warm and comforting as the flames.

* * *

 

"Monsieur Pines, what are you going to do?"

Stan's eyes blinked open at the sound of Dipper's rather sleepy sounding voice near his knee. Had they fallen asleep? Mabel was snoring next to him, her head drooping.

Probably.

"What do you mean?"

"We saw the whole," Dipper yawned widely, "story. What are you going to do about that curse?"

"Eh, I don't know. I've already tried everything."

Dipper sounded more alert when he spoke again, "So, there's nothing for it? There's nothing you can do?"

Stanley sighed, "No."

Mabel startled the beast by sitting up abruptly, and pointing at her brother, "Well, that's only cause you haven't experienced the power of Mabel!"

Dipper blinked slowly at his sister.

"We could set you up with some lady wolves, Monsieur Pines!"

Dipper swore that if the beast's face hadn't been covered with fur, his skin would've drained of all color. As it was, his eyes widened in horror.

"I don't think so."

"But if you don't, then you'll be trapped forever! We have to solve this problem!"

The beast's eyes softened, "This is a grownup's problem ya little gremlin. Now off to bed, or else you'll look like zombies in the morning! Git!"

Mabel smiled at Dipper and he allowed a smile back as they scurried away to their bedroom. Maybe things weren't so bad here.

Monsieur Pines sighed softly as the kids scuttled out of sight. Melody hopped in, "Hello, Stan. Are the kids all right?"

"Yes, they're fine."

"Thank goodness... But I see you aren't."

Stan waved his claw in nonchalance and then winced. Melody harrumphed, "You should take better care of yourself, Monsieur Pines. Soos thinks the world of you."

She nodded and turned to leave.

"Heh. He's a good kid. You've got good taste, Melody."

The meat fork froze as Stanley continued, "He thinks the world of you too, you know."

Melody turned, "Monsieur?"

Stanley yawned loudly, "Look at the time! It's quite late."

Melody squinted at Stanley as he leaned back in his chair before half looking back at her. Had he just winked?

"Go to bed, Melody."

The meat fork slowly went off, thinking on his remark about Soos. He couldn't possibly have meant that. Could he?

* * *

 

Fiddleford huffed as he ran into town, his eyes wild.

"Help me! Somebody please!"

He burst into the tavern, waving his arms wildly.

The burly crowd of criminals that usually occupied the large structure turned and glared at the small soft-spoken southerner. The timid man usually shunned places like these and to see him barreling in the place was a bit of a shock as well as an annoyance.

"Please, somebody help!"

Lil' Gideon rolled his eyes from his perch on Ghost Eyes's shoulders. He tapped the man's head and Ghost Eyes plucked Lil' Gideon off his makeshift chair and placed him on the table.

"Well, well, well, Fiddleford McGucket. What brings you to my humble abode?"

"Please, Mabel and Dipper have been kidnapped by a horrible beast!"

Gideon chuckled, "Beast? Was it great and hairy?"

Fiddleford nodded, "It was! With large teeth and horns!"

The residents of tavern chuckled. Fiddleford frowned and said angrily, "It's true- I saw it with my own eyes! Ya gotta believe me!"

Ghost Eyes huffed, "We don't have to believe anything. Why don't you stop causing a disturbance and go away."

"No, wait! Please, they could be eaten! Please!"

Lil' Gideon sighed, "Ghost Eyes, take care of this."

Ghost Eyes stood and cracked his knuckles and for the second time that day, Fiddleford was picked up like a sack of potatoes and thrown out into the square.

Ghost Eyes sighed, "Why don't you just forget it, old man?"

The door slammed as Fidds picked himself up, "Please? Won't anybody help me?"

The only sound ringing back at him was the dim laughter from the tavern and his own words echoing throughout the cool night air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ltlrlwm Alnwl qe kxtemny tzqd  
> Zx patxs ystzwyj waet eltteir lvp wwag'a nsgd.  
> Eleaf chlsmqarlhtt rwatqdk aqy sy dper gzo Iojw   
> Eupe tsiy wbo xp dbsq lbmdilx, pj kik meur tbssrjso?
> 
>  
> 
> Please review, even if it's small, your feedback always means the world to me!


	12. In which there is MORE FLUFF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is syrup, 
> 
> A completely ridiculous fight,
> 
> And the washing up is so unrealistic it's hilarious.

Mabel's eyes drowsily blinked open. For some reason everything was blurry... She closed them again.

Which did no good, because she shot up in her bed and looked around in amazement. She and Dipper were both within rather spacious beds in a foreign attic.

The beast.

The wolves.

The hot chocolate.

The Mystery Shack-Castle. She should change that. Shack-Castle was still way to much of a mouthful. Shastle? Casck?

Wendy hadn't liked those names for a very good reason.

She shrugged and bounced out of the bed towards the wardrobe. "Grenda?" The wardrobe swung open, "A new outfit? About time, Mabel! Let's get you something good!"

Mabel clapped, "And pink!"

Dipper woke up and rubbed his eyes before yawning. The sun had just peeked over the horizon. In his opinion, this was too early to be up. Mabel, however, was already dressed and waiting for him impatiently by the door. He sighed, "I'm coming, I'm coming."

He shrugged on his clothes from yesterday and followed his sister out the door. The steps creaked as they cautiously made their way down the stairs. They found Soos, the friendly screwdriver, in the kitchen. Mabel asked tentatively, "Soos?"

He smiled, "Aw, what's up hambone? Want some breakfast?"

They nodded.

"Melody! The little doods are hungry!"

Melody came over and smiled depositing a plate of bacon and pancakes in front of the children. Mabel grinned, "Thanks Melody! Hey, can we have two syrup bottles?"

The meat fork nodded, "Sure." She turned back to the kitchen, "Sir Syrup! Mountie Man! Aaaaaattention!"

Mabel's eyes lit up as two gruff syrup bottles marched out from the kitchen and sat down in front of their plates. They sent each other cross looks.

Dipper rubbed his eyes again but chose to ignore their sentience. Mabel squealed excitedly before asking happily, "Hey, can I have Sir Syrup?"

The bottle nodded and moved to Mabel's side while Mountie Man snarled at the opposing Sir Syrup as they passed each other.

"Hey, you two look angry with each other..."

Mountie Man grumbled, "He said I was bland and tasteless!"

Sir Syrup growled, "Lies. He said I was total hogwash!"

Mabel grinned, "I know how to solve this! A good old fashioned syrup race!"

Dipper nodded, "That's a good idea."

He picked up Mountie Man while Mabel picked up Sir Syrup. The twins grinned slyly at each other as Dipper counted, "3... 2... 1..."

They yelled in unison, "GO!"

The syrup slowing dripped out of the bottle, warm sticky maple brown drops forming at the tip.

"Go, Mountie Man!"

"Go, Sir Syrup!"

The twins cheered on their respective bottles, until Mabel tapped at the bottle of Sir Syrup causing the the drop to fall. Mountie Man bellowed as Mabel coughed, "She cheated! She cheated!"

Dipper eyed his twin as Mabel grinned. He smirked, "Well, I guess this calls for a..."

Mabel jumped up, "Syrup Fight!"

She squeezed her bottle and sprayed Dipper in the chest. Dipper retaliated with a glop of the sweet brown goop in Mabel's hair. The twins chased each other around laughing and giggling loudly. Until the door slammed open to reveal a great hulking figure standing in the doorway.

The twins froze, their eyes wide and frightened as they beheld Monsieur Pines staring at them in suspicion.

The sticky syrup covered the table, them, and the ceiling. The kitchen was a mess.

A drop of syrup fell from the ceiling and landed on Monsieur Pines's nose. His eyes twitched, "Are you having a syrup fight...

...without me?"

A grin split his face and the twin's mirrored his smile as he pulled a bottle of syrup (did he just randomly carry bottles of syrup around?) and spritzed Dipper in the face.

Mabel laughed wildly and the fight commenced.

* * *

 

A water balloon nearly smacked the beast and he spoke, "Don't get too close!"

Dipper smacked Mabel with a water balloon and doused her with water. The girl collapsed giggling next to Dipper.

Monsieur Pines grinned and sat down on the damp sofa in the large spacious porch of the Mystery Shack-Castle. Melody had begun scolding them when she saw the syrup covered kitchen. She'd told them all to take a bath. The beast had suggested a water balloon fight instead. They were now clean and wet, though still smelling slightly of sweet maple syrup.

Mabel squinted, "Hey, Monsieur Pines, what's that noise?"

She was, of course, referring to the sound of a tree falling. The beast shrugged, "Eh, that's just Gompers eating breakfast."

Dipper sat up, "That's a tree falling."

He sighed, "Look kid, walk around back with your sister- well, actually. Follow me ya gremlins!" He stood up, stretched, and strode purposefully towards the back of his home. The twins shrugged and followed.

He paused before they rounded the corner and he grinned, "I present to you the most dangerous creature in existence, a monster that once chewed its way through an entire forest..."

There was a breathy pause until he shoved them forward and they stumbled over each other as they caught sight of the creature.

"Gompers, the giant goat of destruction!"

A huge monstrous goat loomed above them, its height only rivaled by the Mystery Shack-Castle.

Mabel gaped, "Whoa!"

Dipper finished, "No way!"

The goat didn't even spare a glance at the three insignificant creatures below it. It calmly chewed the rest of the tree and then bleated loudly, causing the trio to cover their ears.

They hesitantly uncovered them when the goat finished and resumed munching on another tree.

"Why is he so big?"

The beast shrugged, "I dunno. He wasn't always..." He began scratching his neck sheepishly as he looked down at his feet. He was of course referring to the curse that loomed over his head.

Dipper noticed the awkward silence that had fallen and blurted the first thing that came to his mind, "Why were the wolves from the woods so big? I mean, I've read in books that wolves are usually a lot smaller than that. These wolves are huge, as in paranormally huge!"

He _had_ been wondering that earlier.

Stan shrugged, but then paused. He appeared to be thinking, when he saw the twin's curious looks he sighed and gave a large toothy smile, "Well.... I... I can't answer that, really, but I know someone who can."

"Really, who?"

"The guy who's a journal...

My brother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zo, Xsufhth Msg!


	13. In which there is fluff to make up for the angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper and Mabel are adorable.
> 
> Bill isn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, fun fact! This first section of the chapter is where I got stuck writing before the big gap of updates. 
> 
> Also, the reason this is so late is because of finals.

Dipper cautiously looked at the creature standing in front of him, "Are you sure Monsieur Pines?"

"Eh, yeah. Go ahead."

He swallowed and Mabel huffed, her hands on her hips, "Go on already Dippingsauce!"

Dipper hesitantly opened the book, the worn leaves of paper flipping open to a blank page. He raised his hand over the paper carefully, before pressing his hand down and writing, "Hello, Monsieur Journal."

The Journal responded, "Hello, again Dipper. How is everything?"

"Um, everything is fine, Monsieur Journal... I was wondering, why are the wolves so big? They're quite large- too large, in fact."

The writing faded before the journal answered, "Let me show you."

The world suddenly folded inwards before becoming faded, worn, and tan. Dipper turned, Mabel gaping in shock beside him. They were inside the book!

The outline of a wolf was quickly scribbled across next to them in bold black pen strokes, as well facts and notes on their behaviors and anatomy.

Dipper gasped.

* * *

 

When the two emerged from the book once again it was dark and there was no one in the room. Dipper was waving his hands and gesticulating wildly about all of the new things he had learned. Mabel smiled at her brother, but honestly? She had no idea what he was talking about. About half the stuff the Journal had told them about had been the boring science-y side of mythology, and while she was thrilled that her brother had finally found someone as smart and weird as him (Mabel was weird too, she knew, but not the same type of strange as Dipper was.) she was still bored.

"Hey, bro, I'm gonna go see if Monsieur Pines has any paint. I feel the need to do artsy crafts!"

Dipper barely nodded, already mumbling distractedly to himself like he did when he was thinking really hard. Mabel sighed but skipped up the stairs to look for the nice beast.

She found him carefully putting together a taxidermy creature. Mabel grinned, "Hey, can I help? That looks like my type of fun!"

The beast smiled, but Mabel wasn't put off by his sharp teeth, "Well, I didn't know kid, are you sure you're qualified for the job?"

Mabel bounded over, mind already whirling with the possibilities, "Why, Monsieur Pines! I have a degree in flowers, arts and crafts, and gobs of creativity!"

He grunted, "Sounds, overqualified, pumpkin. Have at it."

Mabel grinned, hands reaching for the supplies, "Look, you've got a wonderful fish tail, but that turkey head looks just a bit odd- why don't we give him some bling!"

Dipper didn't see Mabel again for another couple of hours, when they both collapsed, completely exhausted into their comfortable beds.

Everything was wonderful and it felt a lot like they were on holiday rather than imprisoned by a cursed fearsome beast.

* * *

 

Bill lounged in his chair formed out of the craggy rock of an asteroid. He frowned at his minions chasing after small defenseless creatures. Refugees or something. It annoyed him to see one or two running and keeping his monsters away with their meager weapons.

They were a ragtag band of civilians and they couldn't even handle them!

Bill frowned, his eye narrowing and his yellow color taking on a red tinge. He needed that journal! It was necessary for his plans to be enacted! But that stupid beast of a brother was protecting Ford. Bill had had no idea that the dumber, sweatier, version of his protégé had knowledge of the hair barrier.

He'd wasted no time in setting it up after Bill had cast the curse. He'd expected Ford to try summoning him within the first week and beg him to come back.... Unfortunately, the week turned into a month and the month into a year.

Bill was not a particularly patient guy and he decided that was a long enough time. He'd raced to the ramshackle Castle-that-resembled-a-shack, preparing to destroy the beast and take Ford so he could use other means of persuasion on the scientist.

He had then run into the unicorn hair barrier. He'd been furious! Even if Ford had called for him, he wouldn't have been able to sense it!

Bill wasted a couple days ramming raw power against the shimmering wall, but the barrier had unfortunately held. Years passed before he'd had any chance of getting to the man-turned-journal, but those kids had refused to make a deal! Now, of course, they were back behind the barrier- safe from his influence.

The one eyed demon tapped his fingers impatiently against the arm of his throne. He needed someone who wasn't a supernatural power to get in there and kill the beast. Once the cursed creature was dead, the barrier would collapse and he could take Ford. That or someone to sneak the Journal out of the Castle.

Bill Cipher huffed with boredom, he needed a game plan. Soon. He lazily waved a hand and the fleeing refugees exploded, his minions cheering with excitement.

How utterly dull.


	14. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of moments in Mystery Shack-Castle interspersed throughout the summer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to Morgan-Bevis who literally just left a review that reminded me that 'hey people actually enjoy this' and ExtremeLight9 who's just reviewed consistently despite my stupid hectic update schedule.

"Hey so like dood. Your sweet meat is the best."

"Oh, why thank you, Soos! That's so sweet!"

Soos chuckled semi nervously and spoke as Melody blinked realizing she'd made an unintentional pun, "Heh, that's sweet. Yeah that's, that's funny."

The screwdriver sobered up before asking curiously, "Yeah, so uh, wanna, like, hang out?"

"You mean, like on a date?"

"Um, yes."

"I'd love too, unfortunately I don't think there are any restaurants around here that would admit a sentient screwdriver and meat fork."

"Really? I mean, well, I was thinking of cooking pizza, Melody. My Abuelita taught me a few tricks."

"That's a brilliant idea, Soos! Can I help make it?"

"Heh, don't see why not?"

The two of them wandered off in the direction of the kitchen, talking and laughing all down the hallway. Once they were out of sight, Mabel poked her head around the wall, a look of triumph on her face, "Ha! They finally asked each other out! Ha Ha Ha! Another score for Mabel the Match Maker!"

She threw an enthusiastic fist pump into the air, "I must go tell Candy and Grenda of this monumental achievement!" Mabel whirled back around, thundering off into the opposite direction.

She passed one of the sitting rooms, but paused when she saw something move. Mabel peered into the room, eyes widening at the sight of a footstool, front to the floor as if it was nosing the ground while it waddled around the carpet. It's feet were a polished mahogany, the top of it was covered cushions in varying shades of pink with black tassels decorating the edge of the four corners.

"Oh!"

The footstool looked up and oinked happily. It trotted over, sniffing her shoes before rolling over on its back and kicking it's legs contentedly.

"Aw, you must've been a pig once. You're so cute!"

She rubbed the equivalent of the footstool's stomach and it oinked again happily. Mabel smiled and picked it up, "I'm going to call you Waddles!"

She cuddled the footstool contentedly, rubbing her face along it's soft back, "C'mon, Waddles. Let's go see Candy and Grenda. Now I've got two new things to tell them about!"

* * *

 

 

"Oh, Lordy, Lordy, Lord. What to do, what to do!" A long drawn out yodel of, "Raccooooon wiiiiife!" sounded across the countryside, startling birds out of trees and scaring the wildlife.

The horse by the name of Raccoon Wife didn't move, expression bland as the black and gray horse slowly chewed on a piece of grass. It adjusted its back leg, the still slightly sensitive scar pulled uncomfortably. A few minutes later, Fiddleford McGucket bounded up the flower dotted countryside. Three weeks of wandering before he'd decided to go look for his kids. There had been a short period in his frantic panic where he'd contemplated inventing a gun that would erase all of his bad memories of the beast, but he couldn't afford to forget anything while Mabel and Dipper were still in danger. That was when he'd decided to go rescue them.

Fiddleford rubbed his chin and wrinkled his long nose at the long scratchy beard already dominating the space from his chin to his belt. Sometimes he cursed the fact that his facial hair grew remarkably fast. He hadn't had the time or sense to shave since his precious wards had been taken.

The inventor clambered up onto the docile horse, "Come on, Raccoon Wife, we gotta save Dipper and Mabel!"

* * *

 

The low gravelly rumble echoed throughout the large room, "I'd like to give this library to you." Stan scoffed, "Ugh, no way. That sounds lame."

He paused, "You like to read, right? Yeah, so I have this library laying around and I thought that..." He huffed with frustration, "Why does nothing sound right?"

"What does what not sound right?"

Stan whirled, eyes wide and burgundy cape swishing, "Kids! You're here already!"

Mabel tilted her head as Dipper furrowed his brow, arms crossed across his vest, "Yeah, Soos said that you needed us here immediately."

Okay, so he was winging it then. No biggie, he'd lied to pirates, slavers, nobility, bloodthirsty revolutionists, and those ruthless types who owned opium dens. He could lie to kids too, "Uh... You're going to need to close your eyes."

Mabel clapped her hands, "Oh, goody! I love surprises!" She closed her eyes tightly, practically vibrating with barely contained excitement. Dipper was more subdued. He looked around the hall warily before closing his eyes.

Stan put a hand to their shoulders as he led them to the wide double doors. They had been locked for thirty years, but no longer.

"So uh, I heard that you like to read or something. So huh, since reading is for nerds," he threw open the doors, glad he'd opened the curtains a few minutes earlier, "I thought that maybe you uh, might like this room. So it's yours, I guess." He turned, "You can open your eyes now, you gremlins."

Dipper began, "Well if anyone here is a gremlin you ar..." He trailed off as his eyes opened wide, "Oh, wow. This.... This is.... This is amazing!" His voice cracked in the last sentence. Mabel squealed, "Thank you, Monsieur Pines!"

"Eh, it's Stan, kiddo."

Dipper asked breathlessly, a hand gesturing to the huge room filled with hundreds of floor to floor bookcases, all filled to the very brim, "And... And this is ours now?"

"Yeah, I'm not a nerd- I don't read. I mean, not like Fo- well, I've got no use for it."

Dipper raced away, "Maybe there's an astrophysics section! Ooh! Or something paranormal!" Mabel followed, "Maybe it has a knitting book!"

"Forget a book, Mabel- how about a whole shelf!"

Stan watched them go, a fond smile spreading across his face, making his terrifying countenance almost appear friendly.

* * *

 

Dipper held very still as he slowly, carefully dipped the quill in ink. He put the sharpened tip of the feather to his parchment, eyes narrowed in concentration as he attempted to draw the large bird-octopus hybrid sitting on the branch before him.

It was yet another strange creature to ask Monsieur Journal about (or Monsieur Ford as he'd asked them to call him). He breathed out as he put the finishing touches on his sketch. He dipped the quill in ink again but he yelped and knocked the bottle over, luckily missing the paper, when Mabel screamed from just behind him, "Dippingsauce, do you think the frogs here are really cursed Princes?!"

The octopus bird flapped away at the disturbance and Dipper slapped his forehead, "Mabel, can you not sneak up on me like that?"

"Sorry, broseph- I'll totally be quieter next time- BUT do you think the frog/prince idea is plausible?"

Dipper turned, rubbing his sweaty palms against his trousers as he thought. He chewed on the end of the feather before replying, "I suppose so?"

Mabel clapped her hands, "Yes!"

"But don't go kissing random frogs, Mabel! Do you know how many germs frogs have?"

The brunette scoffed, straightening her apron, "Yeah, duh. I'll be careful."

Dipper scratched his head under his hat, "Well... Maybe you should ask Monsieur Ford or Monsieur Stan first about the frogs, y'know, just to be sure."

"Sure, that sounds smart. Now c'mon!"

"What? Why do I have to go?"

His twin rolled her eyes, "Dipper, I know you're gonna want to ask Monsieur Ford about that new creature you were just drawing."

"Oh. Yeah. Thanks Mabel."

"Anytime, Dip Dop. Now come on!"

The twins raced happily off, leaving the pine trees, the wooden outside table, the black spilled ink, and the tall thick wall behind them.

If the two had been looking closing at the wall, they might've seen a strange almost invisible sheen to it, like the phantom shimmer of magic. They knew that magic was there but it was hardly remarkable.

Now, if they had looked back however.... then they would have seen, from outside the wall, a yellow eye open from the darkness between the trees and peer at the them. They didn't though, and the next second the eye blinked out of existence, almost like it had never been there at all.

* * *

 

Mabel tilted her hand, brow furrowed, "Monsieur Stan, where do you go at night?"

"Eh, what?"

Dipper began moving his hands expressively, in the way that Stan learned he'd do when explaining one of his new conspiracies, "We might've followed you last night and you didn't go to your bedroom. You went into some other room in the West Basement. What's in there? Why do you go there?"

Stan sighed, "Oh, come on kids. I'll show you."

Mabel nodded, taking the beast's large hand in her own as she trotted beside him grinning broadly. Dipper scurried after his sister and the beast hurriedly, doing his best to keep up with his heavy and long strides.

The two aahed when he opened the heavy door to the other room occupying the West Basement. Inside it there were stacks and stacks of books on mythology and demons and magic. There were dozens of magical artifacts, trinkets, and sheafs of paper everywhere, spilling off of the tables and in heaps on the floor. Each object had a label and were sorted into their own messy but somehow organized places.

"Wow, this- this is amazing! What is all of this stuff?"

Stan sighed, "This Dipper is thirty years of work. I used to be doing it full time, but you kids came along. Now I mostly work at night."

Mabel eyed the section labeled 'Bill.' It was full of books, papers, drawings, and triangular objects, "You mean this is all of your research to help break the curse?"

"Yeah."

Dipper looked at the utterly astonishing amount of objects before he asked quietly, "How much time do you have left Monsieur Stan?"

They looked so absurdly concerned for their captor, standing there in the cluttered space and the musty smelling basement. Stan guffawed, "Oh, kid, I have plenty of time left! Don't you gremlins worry, I'll sucker some chick into loving me soon enough."

Mabel smiled, "Good. But you won't have to worry anymore because we can help you Monsieur Stan, I'm Mabel the matchmaker! With me on the job, you won't have to be a beast for much longer."

"Aw, thanks, kiddo."

Dipper followed the two of them as Mabel dragged Stan out by his hand, a bright hopeful smile gracing her face, "See I've got some great ideas-"

The door closed with a thump.

Neither of the twins had noticed the nearly buried calendars, marking the years that had passed. Thirty were filled with wobbly X's and they were neatly stacked in the back corner. The thirty-first was on the wall, artfully obscured by a pile of books. There was only a few months left.

Stanley would be doomed forever a beast by the end of August.

* * *

 

Dipper adjusted the candle illuminating his face as he pitched his voice abnormally high, "' _What do we do Chadley? I thought they were dead!_ '" A moment later, his voice deepened back into his normal and only slightly lower pitch as he continued reading, "The blonde clung to her handsome companion's arm in horror. Chadley surveyed the lumbering corpses with dismay. Chadley replied," He deepened his voice dramatically giving his next words an unintentionally comedic effect, " _'Far worse, Trixandra! They're... Nearly Almost Dead But Not Quite!'_ " Dipper's voice once again returned to normal as he narrated, "Trixandra screamed with terror as the shambling monsters approached!" This time Dipper went a little further than usual, he screamed like the woman in the book.

Wendy laughed as the ridiculously girly scream petered off into hysterical laughter, "Oh man, that was a seriously impressive display, Dipper."

The preteen smiled ruefully, "This book isn't nearly as scary when you've been chased by wolves."

Wendy adjusted herself from where she rested, her axe blade glinted in the firelight, "It's so ridiculous though, I mean, they're slow! Just power-walk away from them!"

Dipper nodded, "Wanna bet on who dies first? I'm guessing Chadley."

Wendy eyed him, "Dude, you better not have cheated and looked ahead again."

"Nope, I didn't. I swear."

"Okay, then. You're on."

Dipper began reading again, "The monster began feasting on- ew gross! Ugh. Let's skip that bit." Wendy nodded in agreement.

Dipper's eyes lit up with delight when he read the next line, forgetting to deepen his voice with excitement, "Chadley fell, ' _Aah! My face is being eaten a lot!_ ' Ha, I was right, Wendy!"

Wendy laughed, "Aw, man! I really thought I had it that time!"

* * *

 

Stanley hid a smile as he watched the two twins laugh around the fire. He didn't know what it was about, he was just glad to see that they got along. He sighed quietly. Unlike some people.

He knew Ford didn't want to talk to him and Stan couldn't bear to go near the Journal. It was pretty much a win-win. Ford probably just wanted to yell at him if he did want to talk. Considering how things had ended nearly thirty-one years ago, he doubted that Ford even wanted anything to do with him. And rightly so. Stan had wrecked everything in his brother's life- twice. Now it was up to Stan alone to get someone to love him in order to save himself, and more importantly Stanford. It was a cruel joke and that triangle had known it.

Stanley shook his head as he returned to the present. Mabel stood up and trotted over to the looming and no longer frightening beast, "Here, Monsieur Stan! I made you a picture!"

She thrust the paper at him and his expression softened as he surveyed it. It was a drawing of him and his brother, or as well as she could've discerned from what he supposed Ford had shown them. They were still young, holding hands while a crudely yet endearingly drawn Dipper and Mabel smiled. Underneath the picture were the words, ' _Yay! We love each other._ '

Stan ruffled her hair as he placed the paper on the table beside him, "It looks great pumpkin."

Mabel beamed.

Dipper suddenly stood up, closing the small black leather bound notebook with a snap. He trailed over to the table before he began, "So Monsieur Stan, I tried those exercises you told me about and you were right! I managed to chop some of the wood! I mean, I still felt like my arms were going to fall off and it took me like twenty hits to split one log- but I did it!"

Stan patted Dipper's back, making the boy jump but give a sheepish grin as the beast spoke, "There you go, Dipper. Any moment now you'll be punching those paranormal baddies and getting the girls."

"You really think so?"

"Oh, I know so. Eh, I mean. Um." Stan realized he'd probably come off as nicer than he meant too. Tough love! That's what it was all about!

But Dipper's shining admiration (for him, not Ford) stopped any backtracking.

It might only last for a little while before they realized that he was a fraud and they really shouldn't want anything to do with him, but it was nice while it lasted.

* * *

 

Everything was grey, the walls varying shades of black and white. The taxidermy creatures looked altogether more horrifying in the greyscale. In fact, the whole of the Mystery Shack-Castle, which normally looked ominous, was now ten times more terrifying. If Dipper and Mabel had seen the Shack-Castle in this light, they would never have dared to venture into the bowels of the sagging structure.

Of course, there were at present, only two beings who saw the world like this. The first was Bill Cipher, a dream demon who belonged in the mindscape. He was as threatening as the dark colorless world's appearance. The other was a man who had been cursed to take the form of a red book with a golden six fingered hand adorning the front. His name was Stanford Pines.

However, this dreamscape of the Shack-Castle had a more diabolical purpose than it's true form. Ford could wander the whole of the grey Shack-Castle and see everything that went on in it as clear as day, but he could not interact with the people inside it. He was a silent invisible witness to all that happened. He saw how his brother met with the other servants (now furniture and various household items), he saw how his twin grew to love them, and saw how they clearly adored him back. However, he was also able to see all of the bad moments, Stan searched for magical cures to their unique affliction, his tireless nights trying to fix his brother, and his various mental breakdowns. All Ford could do was watch. Thirty years of quiet, of being unable to do anything, of screaming and panicking when his brother hit especially low spots and contemplated the unthinkable.

Then, Fiddleford McGucket had stumbled across the Shack-Castle. Fiddleford his old research partner. Ford had been astonished. Unfortunately, the hick inventor had not recognized Stan (they had obviously never met, even when his brother had been a human) or Ford as a book. Of course he hadn't, Ford was a book. He didn't even know the Shack-Castle, Ford had only met with Fiddleford in the town. The man hadn't even known that he lived in the woods. Still it pained him to see the anxious man being thrown in a cell. Stan had the right to be cautious though, ever since his brother had stumbled upon the Unicorn Hair barrier and had the good sense to erect it, Bill had been attempting more and more devilish methods to get in. After that, Mabel and Dipper waltzed into their life, two darling twins that reminded him oh so much of themselves as children. Ford had been wary at first, but slowly came to admire and love them as if they were his own grandchildren.

He could tell Stan did too, and the days passed slowly but happily. Dipper was a genius, inquisitive, and he reminded Ford so much of how he'd used to be, when the world was still fresh and untainted. Dipper was not Ford however, and he did not want to make the boy like himself. Thirty years observing how he'd damaged his brother was enough evidence for him.

Mabel, Mabel was a spot of sunlight in the darkness. She was bright, and bubbly, and creative. She was more Stan than Ford. He didn't want her to be hurt by the world, and he so hoped that she and Dipper never fought as they had. The twins needed each other, not for everything- they were two separate people after all, but they were almost opposite poles which only served to complement each other's differences. They were both good at different things and completely able to help the other at their weak points.

Ford shook himself out of his thoughts and looked up at the stairs. Someone was coming down them. If anyone could've seen Ford, they would've seen a figure of glowing golden lines resembling an old tired man with a monocle over one eye. He smiled at the sight of Mabel and Dipper laughing together as they skipped down the steps. He walked over, the shimmer of gold following him as he went.

"Are you here to learn about something new, Dipper my boy?"

Dipper of course didn't answer, turning to Mabel instead and saying, "Do you think Monsieur Ford will know about the octopus hawk?"

Ford froze, "Oh no. Not that insult to science. Anything but that."

"I'm sure he will Dipdop!"

Ford groaned and put his head into his polydactyl hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fords inexplicable hatred for the hawktopus is my life.


	15. *sings* Tale as old as Tiiiiiiime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life has its ups and downs. 
> 
> So much fluff...
> 
> And so much angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mino tgqv jowl bti vlzgk   
> Sbo dld mpq cxacw tzsj ilq  
> Mqoo mono afr lol lhw eshn  
> Xsnkwpxr Kmiz qnse hiw
> 
> Gedn'k mqyi bs cynfwyj omm nxilh dxiuyd! Vogg pq'pe bp rolvtqg tnb m qbnopekg mhakm!

"We should throw a ball, Dipper."

He didn't answer, he was intently studying a book at the library's table. Mabel sighed as she watch him chew on the end of the quill pen, a habit he still hadn't managed to break.

She set her fairytale romance book down, "Dipper!"

Her twin started, coughing as he spit fuzz out of his mouth. When his impromptu hacking had stopped he spoke, "Ugh, sorry, what? Did you say something, Mabel?"

"Yes. We should totally throw a party!"

"Hang on, what?"

"See, it would be great. A fancy dinner and lots of dancing! This ol' Mystery Shack-Castle could do with a lot of cheering up." (There was only a few days till the end of the thirty-one years. Not that the twins knew, but Stan had been steadily getting quieter and quieter and even though he tried to brush it off, they could tell something was bothering him.)

Dipper crossed his arms, "Aw, I don't know Mabel-"

"Wendy could be there."

"You know, that actually sounds like a great idea. Mabel. Let's go ask Monsieur Stan." He put a bookmark between the dusty pages of the novel he'd been reading and got up.

Mabel fist-pumped before she followed her brother, "Yes!"

Grunkle Stan was reluctant at first, throwing a party? It wasn't going to rake in any money since it would just be them, but he couldn't resist Mabel's puppy eyes for long. He sighed and agreed but felt all the better for it when Mabel squealed excitedly, twirled in a big circle, and then gave him a hug with a parting, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, Monsieur Stan!"

She pattered off, Waddles the pig/footstool trotting beside her as she shouted to the hallways with delight, "I get to wear a fancy party dress! Yes, yes, yes!"

Dipper smiled, "I uh, I better go get ready too."

Stan huffed, "I better go make sure the others know we're going to go make a ball that meets Mabel's expectations. Uh, wouldn't want her to be disappointed now. That's, uh, that's asking for trouble."

They both knew that he just didn't want Mabel to be disappointed. In fact, he'd probably do something crazy, like punch a pterodactyl in the face, just so she wouldn't be upset.

* * *

 

Mabel walked grandly down the stairs, a blinding grin on her face. Dipper clumsily stepped down beside her, not comfortable in the excess of finery Mabel had insisted that he wear. Tugging the blue and gold jacket tighter, and resisting the urge to pull at the soft silk cravat, he quickly followed his twin sister. Mabel had tried putting bows in his hair but that was where he crossed the line at being his sister's life sized doll. She'd been disappointed and settled for pulling as much of his hair as she could into a small ponytail, like how she'd seen men at the high court do. Well, she'd never actually seen the king's court, only pictures, but still.

She picked up the front of her fluffy pink flowered dress so she wouldn't trip over it and trotted to the dining room. Dipper would be lying if he didn't say he was a little excited, it was nice to do something different for a change.

The food was amazing, and Mabel was into the fancy bit of it all. Candy was there at the table and they both jumped up and down about it. Apparently, Monsieur Stan hadn't done anything as wonderful as this since... Well, ever, apparently.

Then Mabel declared it was time to dance.

Soos and Melody watched as Mabel hopped over to Stan and grabbed his large furry claw in her small delicate fingers, "Come on Monsieur Stan!"

"Uh, you sure kid? What... what about Dipper?"

Mabel smiled and waved at where her brother was laughing with the red axe, "Yeah, yeah, he's talking to Wendy. Besides I wanna dance with _you!_ "

The beast gave a slow blink before he gave her a quiet smile and followed. It was hard dancing with someone pint-sized and barely a third of your height, but they managed. They were rather clumsy, Stan was out of practice, and Mabel had some new moves that baffled the older person but in short- to everyone who could see, they were simply adorable.

Dipper took a turn with Mabel before she rushed out of the room and came back, holding the red book, "Look Monsieur Stan, now Monsieur Ford can be a part of the fun!"

The other cutlery led the way to the floor, how Dipper was able to dance with Wendy still boggles the mind, but it wasn't as hard as it seemed. Stan smiled and watched the party as he slowly took a sip of his drink. Mabel was prancing around the floor with the journal in her hands (was it just him or was the book giving off a happy golden glow? Eh, whatever) and Dipper was managing rather admirably as he took turns with the other dishes.

Mabel sprinted over, "Dance with Ford, Monsieur Stan! I gotta uh- I gotta go talk to Candy!"

"Wait- I -" but the girl was already gone.

He frowned at the book before he carefully placed it on the dining table beside him. One accidental jostle and he could break the boo- Ford.

He side eyed the book sitting on the table somehow forlornly. Finally he looked around, taking in the fact that no one was within hearing, he began talking, "L- look Ford, I know you can't hear me, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry you're stuck as a book forever, I'm sorry I was such a screwup, and I'm sorry I can't fix it. But hey, I mean, you get to stay inside the book and y'know not talk to me ever, so that's... That's a plus."

No reply, obviously. Stan chuckled self-depreciatingly, "It's- it's funny. Because I actually miss talking to you. Hearing your dumb nerd facts, and your lame puns. Heh. You just- you just take care of yourself."

He smiled softly as he saw Mabel and Dipper dancing together, her flower crowned hair swishing in the air as they laughed and giggled happily. Stan sighed, "Those kids really are something. Ya know? They... They really deserved a better host." He scratched the back of his neck, "Heh... I, I should probably send them back to their home. I know it's selfish of me, Ford, but I can't help keeping them just a little longer. I'm gonna miss 'em."

He quieted as the twins approached. Mabel and Dipper bounded up enthusiastically, "Come dance with us, Monsieur Stan!" Mabel grabbed Ford the Journal while Dipper took Stan's hand and the two led them both out to the tiled dance floor, "Ha! I'm comin' ya gremlins!"

Stanley grinned.

* * *

 

It was a clear starry night with only a few clouds dotting the vast expanse, and the three of them were taking advantage of one of the balconies of the Mystery Shack-Castle's. Everything was still, "Okay kids, so I've been thinking about the way um, you guys came to be here. I thought, ya'know that you might want to check up on your old man." Stan scratched the back of his head worriedly before giving them a mirror, "So uh, this is- was one of my brother's gizmos. Apparently it was made from some sort of crystal that could make you shrink or grow, but it also does something else now. If you say the name of something, you can view it through the mirror."

Mabel smiled, "Oh thank you, Monsieur Stan!" Dipper nodded in agreement as he took it, a wondering smile on his face. Stan was blushing under his fur, "Eh, it was nothing."

Clouds began moving briskly across the midnight sky, and a swift breeze rustled their clothes. A storm was rolling in. Dipper exchanged a look with Mabel before he nodded, "Show us Fiddleford McGucket!"

They gasped. Their adoptive father had changed. He had a beard which was long and it trailed on the ground as he stumbled through the forest, coughing and hacking. Long spiked quills poked grotesquely out of his arm... Dipper had seen them before in the Journal. Fiddleford had encountered a Gremoblin! A few more feeble steps and the man fell to the forest floor, eyes closing.

Mabel spoke, tears in her eyes as she looked up, "Oh, Monsieur Stan! We have to save him!"

"What? What's wrong?"

Distant thunder rumbled. Dipper put the mirror down anxiously, "Monsieur Stan, he's sick! If- if we don't help him, he... He might die."

Stan ran a claw down his face before replying, a split second of hesitation blooming across his face before it was quickly smothered by the distressed children, "Well, what are you still sitting around here for? Go on and rescue him, aren't you the Mystery Twins?"

Mabel gave him a hug, Dipper surprisingly joining her, "Thanks, we won't forget this."

The beast passed them the mirror, "Here, kiddo's don't forget this." He held a finger up at their protesting faces, "Don't give me that. Consider it payment for the kidnapping. Now scoot." A flash of lightning spread jaggedly across the sky. The oncoming storm had almost arrived.

The two left, somehow sad and happy at the same time.

He watched them go, brow furrowing as soon as the two were out of view. It had been a bright spot in the long stretch of gray years. Stan eyed his large beastly claw gripping the pillar and he scoffed, stalking back into the shack-castle. He was being stupid, the two children wouldn't have helped him at all in his search for true love or such nonsense. In fact, they were more of a distraction than anything else. He glared at the floor, eyes hard. His looming terrifying shadow stared back with heavy accusation.

Before they opened the iron shimmering gate to leave, Mabel and Dipper turned to look back around at Monsieur Stan. The Mystery Shack-Castle was dark and forbidding, but the familiar looming gray figure was nowhere to be seen.

The two finally left when it started to rain.  
  
The storm was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mabel's dress: 
> 
> http://lavonathon.tumblr.com/post/141143951348/yeah-im-still-really-excited-about-saisai-chans


	16. Kill the Beast!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fidds is back! 
> 
> With some angst...
> 
> And Lil' Gideon plays Pokémon!

Everything was muddled, like he was swimming through the Gravity Falls lake after the time Sprott had tried dumping loads and loads of mud and manure into the water to make an island.

"Shhh, Fidds, it's alright. We're here."

It sounded like Dipper and Mabel were sitting next to him, but they couldn't be. The Beast had taken them and he'd utterly failed at finding them again. They were gone forever, he'd lost them despite the promises- now empty- he'd made to their parent's graves, despite how he'd sworn he would never let a monster- a beast take them, like the wolves had taken their mother and father.

Two splotches of pink and blue moved in and out of his fuzzy vision. His old bones ached and his beard scratched. Especially his arm...

The whole world kept fading in and out.

When Fiddleford finally woke up for good he found himself, to his immense surprise, laying in his bed at home. He tried pushing himself into a sitting position but a sharp pain in his arm stopped him, "Oh darn tootinany. What have I done to myself this time? Ding dang da-"

A ball of pink launched itself across the room, "Fidds! You're awake!"

It was Mabel and she clambered up onto the bed. Fiddleford almost could've cried at the sight of her in her familiar garb and cheerful disposition, "Ma- Mabel you're back! You're fine!"

Dipper poked his head into the room, "Mabel? Are you- what?!" He stood stock still for a moment before he grinned widely, "Fiddleford! You're awake!"

He joined Mabel on the bed for celebratory hugs. Fiddleford asked in a terrified voice, "Am I dead? Did- did that monster kill you?"

"No, don't be silly! Monsieur Stan let us go!"

"Monsieur Stan?"

"The beast!"

Fiddleford continued on, "Let you go?"

Dipper nodded, "Yeah, he's actually really nice."

Fiddleford used his strong arm to push himself up and pull his adopted children close, "Okay, kids ya'll've gotta tell me about this. Ya'll have been gone for almost three months."

Mabel began prattling excitedly, Dipper joining in when he thought Mabel had a few details off. Fiddleford couldn't help a timid smile, it was good to finally be home.

* * *

 

"Trianglulum, Entangulum, Meteforis Dominus Ventium! Meteforis Venetisarium!" Whirling wind blew through the clearing, trees bending and grass waving. All color melted out of the world, as if a leech was sucking the light out of everything, turning the land dark and gray. The worst part was how everything slowed to a stop, dragonflies freezing in midair, birds stopping in mid flight, a deer poised gracefully in the woods- ears flat and soft brown eyes wide with terror. A sick sulfur smell that didn't seem to belong in this world drowned out everything else, leaving one feeling sick to the stomach.

Lil' Gideon Gleeful, the town's darling, grinned excitedly as a yellow triangle slowly formed, laughing garishly, "Ah, Gravity Falls! It's good to be back! I've been wondering when you'd call, Gideon!"

The small white haired boy frowned, "How do you know my name?"

"Relax, short stack, I'm half demon and half fae! Get used to me knowing things, because I know everything! Ah hahahaha!" The demon chuckled and wiggled his feet, "Now what did you summon me for kid? You got some sort of problem?"

Gideon frowned, clenching his tiny baby fists, "Mabel! She refuses to be my queen but she's been missing for almost the whole summer! I need you to find her and make her love me!"

"Ah! I know exactly where she is, kid! BUT, you're gonna need to do a couple things first."

Gideon's eyes narrowed and he folded his arms petulantly, "What do you mean there are things I have to do? I thought you were all powerful!"

Bill glared, a fire in his eyes as he grew, "Don't question me, kid! You've got no idea who you're dealing with!" He shrunk again, seeming to realize that if he scared the pants off of this kid he might get second thoughts, "Relax, it's simple. Shooting Star has returned home, but you can't get her yet. There's a Beast in a castle in the woods. He'll kill you if you touch the girl!"

He stomped his foot petulantly and wailed, "Well, how's that supposed to help me?!"

"If you kill that monster, Shooting Star will be free and you can marry her! Hey, I'll even give you a weapon to kill him with! All I want in return for this information and generous gift is a book! In the Castle there is a special journal. Bring it to me and I can make her love you, just like you want!"

Gideon thought about it for a moment, eyes narrowed. He finally nodded, "And all I have to do is kill this beast and get you the journal, is that right?"

"Absolutely kid, I'd cross my heart if I had one!"

The white haired boy smiled, "Then it's a deal!"

Bill took the boy's chubby hand, a strange blue flame surrounded their appendages and the demon laughed manically, "Ha! Thanks kid! Here's your murder weapon and something to help you keep the lady until I get there! Courtesy of myself!" He tossed a golden gun and something small and round towards the boy, "Remember- reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold buuuyyyyyy!"

He disappeared and the world warped back into focus. Gideon opened his eyes. At the sight of the burnt out candles, he began chuckling. All he had to do was kill this beast and get a book, and then Mabel would be his.

What an easy feat.

* * *

 

"So he really let you go?"

"Yeah, Fidds! He's not so bad, in fact, he's really nice. I mean he's pretty scary." Dipper nodded in agreement, "And he's kinda hard to deal with sometimes, I mean grumpy but..." Mabel continued her brother's sentence, "it's totally worth getting to know him. I mean, he's all gross old beast dude on the outside, but on the inside he's really a toasted marshmallow!"

Fidds sighed, "I'm just glad you two are okay. I was so worried."

Mabel laughed, throwing her arms around Fiddleford in a hug, "It was very heroic of you to come rescue us even though we ended up rescuing you!"

Dipper smiled, "And we're glad you're okay."

Their next words were drowned out by the thunderous endless hammering on the door. Dipper rolled his eyes, "We're coming! Hold your horses!"

Mabel turned back to Fiddleford, "I'm gonna go see who it is! You stay safe in bed, Fidds!" She pressed a quick kiss to the top of his forehead before she added offhandedly, "And shave that awful beard when you're feeling better, if you're not careful you'll end up looking like Monsieur Stan!"

She slid off the bed and bounded toward Dipper who opened the door. The dim house was immediately filled with the bright light of dozens of torches, and it blinded the twins. By the time they could see again, Dipper was kicking and struggling from his position held high in the air by his vest in the meaty fists of Ghost Eyes.

Gideon held onto Mabel's arm despite her angry protests, "Let go of me you stupid jerk!" The chubby white haired boy smiled disgustingly charmingly, the other member's of Gideon's gang cooed but Mabel stuck her tongue out with a verbal exclamation of what she thought of it. Gideon spoke, "Mabel, darling. Sweet pea. My love, I've finally found a way to win your heart."

She scoffed, "Oh, yeah? Kidnapping us isn't it!" Fiddleford stumbled to the door, slim hands rubbing his eyes as they adjusted, "Kids, what's going on here?"

"Shut yer yap, ya crazy old man!"

Lil' Gideon turned back to Mabel, "Now see here, I've heard about that awful terrible beast who's brainwashed you against me!"

Mabel frowned, "Wait, what? Monsieur Stan?"

Dipper paused from where he'd been wriggling in the grip of the beefy man who followed Gideon around like a lost puppy, "How did you find out about Monsieur Stan?"

"I have my moments, and I know for a fact that he's turned you against me! So once I kill the beast, then you'll finally love me and you'll be my queen!"

Dipper started kicking, "Monsieur Stan won't let you win, Lil' Gideon!"

Mabel nodded, "Yeah, he'll kick your butt!" With these angry words she viciously stomped on Gideon's foot. He yowled and flopped over, at least three of Lil' Gideon's watching enamored muscled followers rushed over to help. Mabel ran and Dipper cheered her on, "Run, Mabel! Go warn Monsieur Stan!"

Lil' Gideon shrieked angrily, "Outta my way! She's mine!" He stood, pulling a small pink ball out of his pocket. One of the gifts from Bill. He handed it to Ghost Eyes, who took it with the hand not holding Dipper. He eyed the girl as her brother shouted, "Mabel, watch out!"

It was too late, Mabel turned back to look just as the delicate glass ball smashed into the ground before her. She yelped as a strange pink mist surrounded her. A few minutes later, a large pink orb chained by thick black manacles floated disconcertingly a few feet above the ground where Mabel had just stood. A Shooting Star decorated the front. Dipper didn't need to ask where the pint-sized problem had gotten the strange magical object. Only one person- no only one  _thing_ , had ever called Mabel a Shooting Star.

"No! Mabel!"

Gideon laughed, "Now she'll be safe until the evil beast is dead!" He turned, "Now Dipper-" Dipper froze before he glared angrily, "You let Mabel go!"

"Hmmm, no."

Dipper glared before suddenly shrugging his arms out of the vest gripped in Ghost Eyes' meaty hands. He slipped seamlessly out onto the ground before he clambered inside, slamming the door and locking it. Ghost Eyes started but Gideon waved him off, "Don't bother Ghost Eyes. You're helpless, Dipper! You won't be able to get to Mabel because I have the key!" He pulled a golden key, decorated with a matching Shooting Star, from around his neck as he giggled, "The key to her heart." He tucked it back in before shouting at his followers, "Move out, fellas! We're off to kill the beast!"

Dipper watched helplessly from the window as Lil' Gideon marched off with his small army, the key to saving Mabel around his formless neck. He was accompanied by the jeering frightful shouts all the way into the dark woods that led to the Mystery Shack-Castle.

"Kill the beast!" 


End file.
